LIONEL PODCAST: The Con That Keeps On Killing

Irreligious. Apatheist. A portmanteau, get it. I don’t understand it. Never really did. Not speaking French = Not speaking God. Skeptic. Buddhist. Agnostic. Non-theistic. Doubter. Realist. Non-denominational/non-delusional. And how does a kid believe in something he was told? Kids can’t believe in God. Just like a kid can’t be a Republican.

I never cared about faith. It’s up to you. It’s your call. I don’t care about Dungeons and Dragons either. But with that comes a respect for others’ faith. It’s a fact of life and religious faith is something shared by virtually the entire planet. I believe there’s a God gene. A hard-wired circuitry that most humans possess. It’s what causes them to jump to the God conclusion when awe and amazement overcome them. It’s that last exit on the imagination highway. When life proves more than can be fathomed, it’s Gawd.

And my favorite: do you think we’re here by accident. Accident! Evolution, natural selection, Darwinian mechanics are accident?! First, you besmirch your God. You libel her mechanism of transition! And if I hear once more of the idiocy of intelligent design, one more time of the evolution of the eye as being proof positive of an anthropomorphic big guy, I’m climbing a bell tower. No singular event has so royally screwed up mankind as — not religion, mind you — the religious. Whenever man interjects herself into the mechanics of the universe we get Joel Osteen. And no, no, I have no idea what that meant.

And in another example of our inherent lunacy, legislatures have brought you anti-bullying statutes that defy logic. The hubris that these armchair constitutionalists possessed in thinking they could cobble together prohibitory language that correctly targets the behavior proscribed while leaving intact the freedom to be a Grade A all-American horse’s ass astounds me to this very day. And I’m not easily astounded.

Therefore, without further ado, I bid you adieu and direct your attention infra.

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