Happy Birthday, us! Note the exclamation point. Yes, I’m screaming it. You do the same. Please. Fireworks bore me to the core. Crowds do nothing for me. Have you ever seen a fireworks display and thought, “Now, that was really worth fighting the traffic and seas of humanity. I’m fulfilled now. I can die a happy man.” No, no one has.
Below please find my encomium and paean to that which makes us great. See for yourself and spread the word. Feliz cumpleaños, America.