Meet Reginald Chance. A fool for a client. The most stupid man on the face of the earth digitally representing his guesstimated IQ. Imagine being so cretinous, such a Boeotian that you flip off the world whilst in court. That’s smart. Good thinking, Capone. Now you’re Public Enemy Numero Uno. Congrats.
The res judicata shuffle, DaddyO.
It’s been quite an incredible tune here in the Big One. You might have been following our latest crime episode – traveling bands and packs of MotorPsychos. Not to mention undercover and off-duty cops thrown into the mix, Gloria Allred (the itinerant pettifogger) thrown in for good measure, not to mention the mysterious and medieval sounding crimes strewn and tossed about – criminal mischief, menacing, inter alia. New York’s a great penal state with a statute for everything – even strangling. Take that Ed Lewis! (Get it?) And it gets even more weird when a New York Court of Appeal is considering using voluntary intoxication as an affirmative defense to second degree murder as in driving so intoxicated that it evinces a depravity and indifference. Can you dig that? You can be too drunk to be charged with being too drunk. Only in New York, kids.
“Ready when you are, C.B.”
Here’s a tutorial, a primer for the primordial, on what to do when the long arm of the law has you in a sleeper hold. Listen carefully, Miss Creant.
Or something. Anytime I can use the word heuristics I do. With impunity.
They’re never anywhere to be found. When you need them.