LIONEL AUDIO: Marathoners Are Sick. Try Skydiving, Mr. Adventure!

I loathe marathoners. The obnoxious ones. That would be 87% of them. I even addressed the subject on my PIX 11 Commentary.

These folks walk around with their baked potato foil capes and their silly medals. They have a “LOOK AT ME!” arrogance that looks down upon you and hold you in contempt for not being as courageous as they. Herein, a history of less-than-stellar moments in marathon, racing, running and jogging. We’re bipedal, doggone it! Baby, we weren’t born to run.

If you want adventure, try skydiving. I did it twice: tandem and Accelerated Freefall (AFF) Level I. That’s enough. Remember, you don’t have to eat the whole egg to know it’s rotten.

I have a friend of mine who ran track in college. He and I have a running joke — he thinks skydiving is insane (of course, no one who says that ever did it). I respond that running is unmanly and the tool of the coward. Humans run from, never to. I looked death in the face and it blinked. My friend enjoys sashaying around a safe track with “on your mark, get set” signaling that it’s time to trot.

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