Tag Archives: Starbucks

LIONEL PODCAST: Teach Kids About Intimacy Not Just Sex

I love this picture. Mr. T-shirt sizes up sex once and for all. And what’s the whistle for? Notice the extraneous lines and wiggles on the schematic. Is that a gash near the glans? Yikes.

This classic example of Americana shows the ubiquitous pedagogic utility journeyman “coach” teaching the rudiments of sporting wood, pitching a trouser tent. Mr. Chubby. Blue steel, cat couldn’t scratch it. Like a baby’s arm with an apple in its fist. You could cut glass with that baby. The classic boner. A hard on for the hard on. The tumescent and turgid . . . you get the picture.

What’s discussed herein inter alia is the fact that sexual education mustn’t be taught solely. Intimacy education must be taught as well. Preventing pregnancy is great and lowering STD transmissibility is fine also. But there’s more to it than that.

LIONEL AUDIO: (FREE! GRATIS!) Why I Abhor Xmas. Sorta.

Each year at exactly this time I marvel at how we American humans march in a robotized obeisance to the commercialized Xmas drumbeat. Without fail. Without so much as a thought, we get sucked into the maelstrom of rank commercialism that knows no bounds. And we dust off the perennial issues, e.g. the secularization of Xmas. That’s right, Xmas! So sue me. The usual mindless faux and contrived issues such as whether it’s “Merry Xmas” or “Seasons Greetings” or — Gawd forbid — “Happy Holidays.” The music starts earlier and earlier and I swear, nothing puts me in a bell tower mood more than hearing the same old tunes. If I hear Burl Ives demanding that I have a holly, jolly Xmas one more time, somebody’s going to pay!

And as far as Xmas tunes go, my favorite is Greg Lake’s 1975 hit “I Believe in Father Christmas” with lyrics by his King Crimson band mate Peter Sinfield. It says it all in my book.

Hallelujah Noel be it Heaven or Hell
The Christmas you get you deserve.

Finally, I discuss the absolutely insane idea espoused and promoted by No Labels. Look, the idea that rancor and incivility infecting political discourse with fire-breathing polemics should be avoided at all costs is a great idea. But let’s not forget, political discourse and comportment today look like a cotillion compared to that of our forebears. That being said, with a slovenly and torpid electorate, I fear anything encouraging more collective sedation. I marvel at the folks in Europe who when angry — and I certainly don’t countenance violence — actually get off their butts and march.

Happy Whatever, one and all.

LIONEL AUDIO: Star_ucks, The Source of Me & The Quiddity Of Our Media

I can’t get it out of my head. I’m still stuck on Black Friday. It confounds me. In cataloging abnormal and aberrant human behavior, one of the main indicia of such is the lemming-like, sheeple convergence on Black Friday. And the media’s coverage. I can’t get enough of the story and the pschodynamics of “crowdthink.”

I’ve a few thoughts on the subject. My PIX 11 News commentary highlights such infra.

As you can see my disquisition on the subject is the model of pellucidity. (Ahem.) Or not. You know you’re on to a good topic when, as in the case here, you can substitute riot photos for actual Black Friday photos and no one’s the wiser. The audience absolutely sees that what you’re showing isn’t at all far-fetched. How fetching!

Discussed herein.

  • The source of my appreciation of the absurd
  • The miserableness of people
  • Women’s loud shoes
  • Whistlers and bad singers
  • Stuttering as a child and tricks to conquer such
  • New media, new delivery systems
  • Barney Fife and Ted Baxter: Two of the most important figures in our American culture

LIONEL AUDIO: Don’t Blame Colbert. Blame Yourself.

Imagine Borat appearing before Congress joking about AIDS. Or Julia Sweeney as Pat testifying as to transgender issues. Or Maude Frickert speaking on global warming. (How’s that for dating yourself, but Jonathan Winters is a genius.) Who’d laugh? Certainly not the crowd who would find Colbert’s embarrassing, inappropriate, out-of-line, disrespectful, mocking, classless appearance before Congress funny. First those issues would be most certainly those they can relate to and identify with. Immigration is, well, shall we say a tad too cerebral for the crowd that would find colonoscopy and Brazilian waxing funny. But it’s not just Colbert. It’s the state of comedy today, hijacked by kids and semi-literates who find fart jokes and boogers funny. And no one loves well-placed flatus follows more than I. (Can you say Blazing Saddles?) You can see it on SNL this past week. And on a season opener, no less. The Daily Show, perhaps the best written political show, can’t get through an episode without F-bombs aplenty.

But this guy’s not to blame. We’re to blame. So many don’t read, think, care or investigate anything. We just want to be amused. Like a parent jiggling keys to distract a crying infant. And dig the dude smelling his pencil.

But first, a proem of labyrinthine beauty. Intricate, complex, fluid ricocheted thoughts.

LIONEL AUDIO: The Post 9/11 Mélange

The man pictured infra holds no relevance whatsoever to today’s audio blog. It’s an inapposite, even desultory inclusion for no other reason than his name cracks me up. Say it as written. I don’t know why, it just cracks me up ever since I first read of Mr. New Land in high school. The cadence, the timing. Dunno.

I’m particularly proud of today’s masterpiece. As you may have heard, Saturday was the ninth anniversary of 9/11 and, as you can imagine, I have a few thoughts on the subject. What this year’s commemoration will denote is the absolutely despicable dereliction of duty of the mainstream media in paying any attention to that reverend lunatic Terry Jones. There must be something about that name because his Monty Python counterpart likewise shares insanity.

Just listen for yourself. That’s the idea of audio, you know. Listen.

Ciro “The Artichoke King” Terranova (1889-February 20, 1938)

“We hardly knew ye.”

LIONEL AUDIO: Mélange Freebie

Every drug dealer worth his salt knows is that in order to entice new customers he must give away free product from time to time. And that’s precisely what I’m doing. This one’s on the house. In the ‘pert near three-quarters of an hour, I’ll take you on a journey that defies description or duplication. You may call it desultory; I call it chat scat.